Ketchup
by montypython203
Summary: What starts out as the Doctor persuading Rose to put ketchup on her chips leads to a whole lot more...


_Title: Ketchup_

_Rating: T_

_Summary: What starts off as the Doctor persuading Rose to put ketchup on her chips leads to a whole lot more._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. However I do own a pair of pyjamas with Daleks on them._

_Author's Note: Just a little something I thought of while eating ketchup and chips on my Year 11 camp. It's any Doctor/Rose, but I think it works better with 10._

**Ketchup**

After a trip to the Frekator Nebula, the Doctor and Rose were relaxing with a nice big bowl of chips. However, soon they had gotten into a dispute.

"Doctor, please, put the bottle of ketchup _down_…" pleaded Rose.

"Just try it Rose," said the Doctor "You'll like it, I know you will."

"Doctor, if God wanted ketchup and chips to go together, he would have created them together," argued Rose.

"That reasoning is completely illogical," said the Doctor. "Chips were created _by people._ Ketchup was created _by people_. God just provided the basics, it was up to us to learn how to use them." Rose folded her arms.

"Yeah, well _I_ learnt that all you need to enjoy chips is some salt and vinegar," she retaliated.

"But ketchup's a flavour enhancer!" said the Doctor.

"No, it's a flavour ruiner!" exclaimed Rose.

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too! … Doctor, what are you …?!"

_**SQUEEZE!**_

Rose looked on horrified as the Doctor squeezed ketchup all over her chips.

"Doctor, you've ruined my chips!" she cried.

"Are you gonna eat them or not?" asked the Doctor.

"Not anymore!"

"Rose Tyler, are you telling me that you're going to pass on an offer of beautiful, golden, crispy chips?" tempted the Doctor. Rose's mouth started watering.

"Well … but … the ketchup …" she stammered.

"Just try one Rose. Please. For me," said the Doctor. Rose sighed.

"Well … okay," she finally said. She picked up a chip and slowly put it in her mouth.

"Well?" said the Doctor. "How is it?"

"Hmm, not bad," said Rose, but her body language suggested otherwise. Her eyes closed as she savoured the flavour, and a low moan escaped her lips.

"Doctor," she said. "This tastes … incredible." The Doctor grinned, glad that he'd made Rose see the light.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That night the Doctor and Rose were getting ready for bed. Rose slipped into a silk nightie, while the Doctor was in nothing but a pair of boxers. They got into bed together, and the Doctor put an arm around Rose.

"Thank you for today Doctor," Rose said. "I've gotta admit – I was wrong. That ketchup really worked a treat."

"I knew it would," said the Doctor smugly. "The adding of ketchup to chips is scientifically proven to increase flavour by 150 percent."

"Is that right?" laughed Rose. "Actually, all that talk about enhancing flavour made me wonder if I could use it on … other things."

"Oh, absolutely," said the Doctor. "Works very well on broccoli. Though in that case, it's not so much enhancing the flavour as drowning it out altogether. But in the case of broccoli, that's a good thing … uh, Rose, what are you doing?" The Doctor looked on as Rose reached behind her and pulled out the very same bottle of ketchup they had just been discussing.

"Rose, why are you holding a bottle of ketchup?" asked the Doctor.

"I just want to try something," said Rose innocently. Without taking her eye off the Doctor, she flicked the cap off the ketchup bottle. The Doctor's eyes widened.

"Rose, put the bottle _down_…" said the Doctor, a sense of déjà vu running through him.

"Nup," teased Rose. "I'd rather use it. You said yourself it was a flavour enhancer. Let's put that theory to the test."

"You already did," reminded the Doctor.

"I mean with something else," said Rose, leaning into the Doctor. She took the Doctor's side of the doona and pulled it back.

"Rose, no," said the Doctor. "Rose, whatever you're planning, I really don't … Rose … ROSE!"

_**SQUEEZE!**_

"Nice one Rose, you've gotten ketchup all over my chest," said an annoyed Doctor. "Now I've got to clean all this up." The Doctor got up to leave, but Rose pushed him back onto the bed.

"Please Doctor, _allow me_," she said saucily (no pun intended). She leaned down, closed her eyes, and slowly started licking the sauce off his chest.

"Rose, stop that," said the Doctor. "Rose, this is … oh … oh my … wow that's good … oh Rassilion … okay that's powerful …" Rose looked up at the Doctor and grinned, her tongue flicking between her teeth.

"Theory tested," she announced. "Conclusions? Hard to tell, since the subject was already incredibly tasty to begin with." The Doctor gave her a lop-sided grin.

"In that case," he said, "I think a second test is in order, don't you?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Doctor!" called Martha from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" said the Doctor as he walked in.

"Where do you keep the ketchup?" asked Martha.

"Bedroom," replied the Doctor casually. "I'll get you some." With that he turned and made his way back down the corridor, leaving a very confused Martha standing at the pantry door.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Love it? Hate it? Whatever, just review!_


End file.
